The last couple of days I’ve been feeling ok. I tried to wear decent clothing instead of sweatpants and I took a shower for the first time in weeks. I also cleaned up my place, I had to divide the tasks over a few days though.
Besides my chores, I’ve been trying to stay busy until I can go to therapy again. I’m still worrying and thinking about my last session, so I have to keep doing other things so I won’t think about it … . I feel terrible about it and I dunno what to do.
Sometimes I feel like I have to go to a full-time program, but I have studying to do and work… . Sometimes I’m wondering if I should find another therapist, just in case mine is leaving again. Mine works only one day a week, so if she’s sick or whatever I can’t go to therapy for 14 days.
Or maybe I should seek someone who specializes in borderline, which is very hard to find around here (I went to therapy before my diagnosis, so my therapist isn’t really specialized in it). I have no idea what to do. Should I be looking for these things? Should I be thinking about all this stuff? It’s very hard to sit and wait for my next session.
I am ok right now. I feel very unstable, but I feel better than last week. I have a few paper deadlines this week, but I should be fine.